Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
farters have to be the big spoon...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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