Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is it because I queefed?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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