When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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