I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
