Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
