haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I could make wine with my vomit
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
