apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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