My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
