i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
