Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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