I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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