you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
