Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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