So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Fuck appropriateness.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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