i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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