Its about making memories worth repressing
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
