I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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