i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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