u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
