she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
