I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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