I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
