Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
