So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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