her vagine was all disorganized.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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