In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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