something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
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You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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