So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Randomize
