Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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