As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
