I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
