Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my being single is dangerous.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
