my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
