Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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