I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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