i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
