bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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