You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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