You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
