I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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