Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
