Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
