i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
well you can't waste a boner
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize