ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
