I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
