sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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