first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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