I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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