You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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