He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
