What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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