Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
