Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
