It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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