Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
