I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
