It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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