Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
