I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
high people should be assigned attendants
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
