i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
home. puking in laundry basket.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
