I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
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She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
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No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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