he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
