I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i believe in u and ur pee
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
